Do you know what the most frustrating thing is about trying to lose weight? Working out relentlessly for months and months and months and not getting any results.
Here's a newsflash: You are eating too much!!
But I'm always eating right, packing my lunch, dinner, snacks, getting under 1500 calories per day. Or am I? Turns out I can last about 2-3 days at a time of eating clean, sometimes 4 days if I try really hard, then I lose it and eat everything I can get my hands on. Happens 2-3 days per week. I have no clue how many calories I'm consuming, but probably almost double what I'm supposed to be eating. So, to everyone around me it looks like I'm eating healthy and am a fitness guru, but in the privacy of my own demise, I'm cheating myself.
What gives??
I did some research and learned that what I'm doing is called binge eating, and I have all the hallmarks of binge eating disorder. What?? Me?? Only people with problems have eating disorders, I don't have problems. I'm as normal as they come. But, if I don't have a problem or eating disorder, then why can't I stop? The proof is in the pudding I'm eating at 11pm (but it's sugar free, fat free, so that makes it ok, right?). Oh wait, it's only ok if you just eat one. I find myself over and over again eating for no reason and I can't stop myself. When it happens, it's like I zone out and nothing I eat in any amount is satisfying, I just keep shoveling it in.
I read a book about binge eating. In the book, it talks about several reasons you might binge eat, and one of those reasons is restricting yourself through constant dieting. That restriction causes you to eventually break down and eat no-no foods. During the binge, it says to be in the moment and ask yourself why you are eating, is it helping you feel better? You need to find another outlet to let your emotions out, and food is not the right outlet because it just makes you feel worse.
Well, I'm done feeling bad about myself. I'm done doing programs like Insanity, weight-lifting programs, half marathon training, and still being fat. I work out more than any skinny person out there, but it's my fault I overeat and ruin all my hard work.
I read all these fitness magazines and things online, and it says to not be hard on yourself and that if you slip up today, just start fresh tomorrow. Problem is, I'm always starting over tomorrow. Truth is, I need to be hard on myself. I need to hold myself accountable. I starting following Pauline Nordin, creator of Fighter Diet, on Facebook, and I'm in love with her approach to fitness. Not necessarily the big muscles she has, but her no-nonsense, hard-working attitude. She tells you what you need to hear and doesn't sugar coat anything. Her FB page is a big dose of reality and reminds you that you have to have dedication in not just working out, but also diet, if you want to reach your goals.
Anyways, today is the day that I really challenge myself to stick to clean eating. I've made a hybrid workout plan, including Insanity and Jamie Eason's Live Fit Trainer. These two programs are phenomenal, and I've completed each one separately. I got decent results considering my diet was not under control, so I know if my nutrition is consistent I will get amazing results from combining these two programs. I have to keep my focus, I can't get weak and breakdown at work and eat chocolate. I have to be strong late at night when I'm home watching tv and want to binge. I owe it to myself to see the results I work so hard for. I deserve the results.
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